Nick Chinlund

as Narrator (voice)

as Apple Vendor (voice)

as Admiral Gerald Pillar

as Tagger

as Bill

as Coach Baker

as Gary D'Alessandro

as Chuza

as Capt. Dalak

as Belmonte

as The Captain

as Sheriff Jasper Calloway

as Hannity

as Officer Lejeune

as Self

as Lt. Vince Madrid

as Patrick

as Kevin Connor

as Leo Taymor

as Warden

as Ron Skinner

as Sportsmaster (voice)

as Crusher Crock (voice)

as Sportsmaster / Crusher Crock (voice)

as Mitch

as Professor Birchbaum

as Yosi

as Lt. Broward

as Finch

as Bruce Steadman

as Evan Mitchell

as Jake Suttner

as Officer Sykes

as Mr Pope

as Alex

as Sgt. Roberts

as Bryce Brand

as Rob Deluca

as Jonas Hathaway

as Gordon King

as Bob Quinn

as Anthony Romano

as Self - Actor

as Ferdinand Daxus

as Boyd

as Jacob McGivens

as Frank Morrison

as Max Weston

as Eddie

as Detective Sullivan

as Joseph Parker

as Toombs (voice)

as Toombs

as Detective Steve Rosetti

as Self

as Michael 'Slo' Slowenski

as Paul

as Nelson

as Chief

as Masters

as Tim

as Jack Driscoll

as Matthew Starr

as Mitch

as Mike Murphy

as Mickey Rutledge / Apollo

as Gus Davis

as Ian Jack

as Larry King's Guest

as Used Car Salesman

as Matthew Linwood Brodus

as Dr. Jake Sandler

as Daniel Hartman

as Iggy Schmurtz

as Bob Morgan

as Frederick Remington

as William "Billy Bedlam" Bedford

as Lex

as Major Ellis

as Quan Chi (voice)

as Temple (voice)

as WitSec Agent Calderon

as Dr. Ted Meeks

as Jeremy Avery

as Dr. Ted Meeks

as Pinkerton Detective O'Brady

as Mysterious Driver (archive footage)

as Jeff Briggs / Jim Briggs

as Dr. Greenbox (voice)

as Chopshop (voice)

as Donald Addie Pfaster

as McNeely

as Deputy Tomay

as Mysterious Driver

as Hatchett

as Bob (voice)

as Barry Peck

as Frank Elliott

as Hugo

as Enzo